I realised some time ago that in some instances I expect way too much. In most situations, I try to expect as little as possible, because I don’t want to be let down, but sometimes I get caught up in daydreams and end up becoming disappointed anyways.
My hopes are held way too high,
or I’m just not realistic enough to see reality clearly.
I expect too much
and wait to see not much coming back.
A flame that burns so strongly inside me
gets put out by the single water drop.
Nothing I plan ever plays out the way I want it to,
and the only way I can achieve what I want
is by staying in my own head.
My imagination is my way to be
what I want to be
and have what I want to have.
I escape into my mind to ignore
the cruel and harsh world we’re living in.
Nothing is supposed to be easy,
but when you expect so much
and get so little in return
you start to question what’s the meaning of it all.
Why should you spend so much time on something
that only will turn into yet another mistake?
You dwell on what you’ve lost
and lose sight of right now,
but that’s the way you want it, right?
You want to look back and see
where your creativity took over your realism
and ask why it chose to do so.
Did it want to make you happy?
Or was it your mind showing you
you’re already happy,
but only when you’re alone?
Your mind making up stories where reality becomes too much,
where you rather let go and hope for the best.
Making stories
to let you escape to a place where you can finally
be happy.
Some people have a happy place
where they can go to feel at ease and relax,
mine’s in my head.
I go into myself to be in the worlds I’ve created
and at no time is reality better.
If I could stay in my mind forever,
I probably would.
The Voice of Ida 